Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
