She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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