how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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