My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
