went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dicks are not precious.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
