South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
