I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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