glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
