fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
