don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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