a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
