this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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