What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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