I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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