Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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