Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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