Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize