lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I love you.
Bad choice
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
