It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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