Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
