i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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