You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
