I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
