love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
