She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
