No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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