Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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