My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
