p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
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He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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