He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
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I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
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I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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