I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
