are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
