also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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