"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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