fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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