YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
