my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
