AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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