I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
