Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
