Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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