if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
