I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
