Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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