I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Mom said you looked used
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
you never un-have a 4some
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
