chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
