She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize