Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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