got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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