I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
