I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
