Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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