i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
