She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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