I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
