yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
