I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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