I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
