i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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