And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
