it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
