oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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