What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
